You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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