If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
