She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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