Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
