Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he thought i was a dude.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
