the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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