I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
