And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
