She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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