I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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