I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
