Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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