so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i drank out of a bidet.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize