We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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