Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
