what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
