the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
