I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Found your dick twin last night
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
