The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
