sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
