I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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