doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
