I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize