I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize