...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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