Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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