Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
