party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
