If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
