Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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