So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
