found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
