Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
