so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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