I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
