And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
