She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
