you guys were way drunker than both of me
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
How naked do you want me to be?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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