Non-Jews are for practice
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
