would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
