I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize