After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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