the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
