How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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