it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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