great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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