I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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