is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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