i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i think i have two assholes
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
