Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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