Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
