i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
