wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
