Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
