you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
