I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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