So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
so much tequila, so little girl.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
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