so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
