...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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