I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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