he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
