Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
