Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize