Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
