So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize