He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize